the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
