I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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