i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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