I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize