you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
