Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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