what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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