I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
