You really coming over, don't trick.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
