I skipped work to stalk him.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
