VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
