I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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