You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I need to stop coming to work sober
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
