What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
