Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
