Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
too bad you live with your parents still
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
