Need sex. Gaining weight.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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