Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
