Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize