I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
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Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
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I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
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