just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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