I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
