Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
so let's talk penis.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
