Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
North Korea, Best Korea!
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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