she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
