He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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