So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
