Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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