we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
