remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Randomize