I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
