watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
