HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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