well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
