just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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