I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
