Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
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Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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