you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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