I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
pray to the hookup gods
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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