How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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