i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
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In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
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Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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