Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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