I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Randomize
