He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
