508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
