return my video game
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
