ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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