I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
