Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
