I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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