I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize