Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize