remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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