I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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