So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
