I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
