Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I can text with my tongue
the day after is always just damage control
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
