My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
