Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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