In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
